I hope many of you don’t have to ask this question, but maybe I can provide some insight into how things can go wrong in a relationship and how to avoid them. Many people have asked the question where did the love go and why doesn’t he seem to love me anymore. You see there is a big difference between how men relate to their partner and how women relate to their partner. We both want different things from our lover. It is this difference that creates a gap between us and eventually leads to both partners feeling unloved and unwanted. Now don’t get me wrong people can fall out of love and stay with each other because of reasons that seem legitimate at the time. In this case you and your partner need to have a very serious heart to heart where you both lay everything on the table and see where you can go from there. Sometimes the best thing to do is to part ways even though it will hurt and really break both of your hearts. Now continue reading because this is important. Sometimes it isn’t just falling out of love but a break in the social contract that both partners believe was made when they started to date and fall in love. Though sadly this social contract was not really discussed by either partner to each other, it was more of a silent belief of both people that they thought the other would just know instinctively. Sadly we humans are not mind readers more the opposite, we ascribe out thoughts and feelings onto the other people in our life and think they are more similar to us then they probably are. So what is the social contract I discussed earlier. Well for women it is we want a man to take care of us in some capacity, make us feel special and beautiful, this is an over simplification of things I know the intricacies of what women want is many and varied. Men want similar things they want to feel desired and loved. They also want to feel cared for. This not to say someone to take care of them. They want to feel that their wants and needs are as important to their partner as much as they are to them. So where do things go wrong why are men so hot in the start then in the later parts of a relationship do they become cold and distant. It is a cultural thing but also a interpersonal thing that leads to this. Men are taught from an early age now days that they should feel lucky to get a woman and that they need to do anything to keep them. On the other hand women are taught the exact opposite, they are taught that any man should feel lucky to have them and if the man doesn’t do what they want then they can just find a new replacement. Then add to this sex for women it is meh especially if the man you are with doesn’t know how to please you; it becomes something you could take or leave. Men on the other hand want and need sex in a relationship. Let me say that again MEN NEED SEX. This is going to anger some of my readers and others will not believe me, but hear me out. Why do men need sex? It is pretty simple just like you want to be called beautiful or gorgeous by your man so you can feel like you are special. He needs to feel special too and wanted. The problem with this is men are more action then words. They are the “put up or shut up” type of people to use a phrase. I can tell you I will pay you back the 1000 bucks I owe you thousands of times but that doesn’t prove I will until I actually pay. That is how they think they feel loved when the woman they love wants to make love to them. If their lover seems disinterested then they feel that she doesn’t love them and is just interested in having someone there to support and take care of them. This also gets back to the point I made earlier where men and women are enculturated differently men feel lucky just to have a woman and will do as much as they can to keep them and women feel that a man is just lucky to have them and should prove their love to them. This is not to say other things happen a lot of men after the initial hot and heavy start of a relationship tend to leave house work and other things for women, but could this be because they feel unappreciated sometime maybe, or they’re just lazy. Why bother if all that you do is not appreciated and your wants and needs are subservient to you lovers. I believe in equality on both sides if I am there to support my man then he better be there to support my dreams, but you see the difference is I support him too. Now on to sex if men need it and women can take it or leave it then it becomes about pleasing the man and not so enjoyable for us. So this leads to women not wanting it as much and maybe seeking out other stimulation while their man is not around. If we can do it better then why not just do it ourselves. So sex becomes a reward or a form of punishment. The man does well and he gets sex, not so well and he is denied. Then the man starts giving up on an intimate relationship with his lover and finally doesn’t want anything to do with her because she is the source of so much frustration and resentment that he can barely stand to be around her. The solution is having an open relationship where both people want to support the other and listen to the other person. Communicate with each other and ask the hard questions. Men are not used to talking about such things they are more prone to bottle things up and not talk about it, but keep trying and listen to him what he will say sometimes may hurt to hear, but bear with him because what he may tell you will be what he has been holding back for so long. I believe in equality for both men and women where both people in a relationship are supporting and helping each other and both people’s needs and wants are equally important. Here is a review of a book that I highly suggest, read the review and see if it may be right for you. Secret Survey Review